In my hand, I hold the secret to pasty white skin known only to Geishas for hundreds of years.
That's right, none other than nightingale droppings, known as uguisu no fun to the Japanese and bird poop to Americans.
We found an old cosmetics store in Tokyo here that sells the stuff, and believe me, people were buying it. Why do you ask? Apparently, it has some lightening and purifying skin agent in it, not substantiated by any real scientific research, but since when does that matter?
It comes out of the bottle in a dried powder form. Thank goodness for that- I don't know if I could stand it the other way. Also, since I know you're wondering-- no, it does not have that familiar smell at all.
Here's the deal: You lather it up with water, apply, and then rinse off. To be honest, the ritual was somewhat anti-climatic. I didn't feel grossed out or disturbed in the least, though I have to admit I was very careful not to get any of it in my mouth.
So I did it and you know what?
I think it actually worked! My skin was glowing the whole day... I'm 75% convinced those geishas were on to something...
Come to think of it, however, it could have been the 10 hours of sleep I got, all the salmon and blueberries I've been eating, pregnancy, or even just self-delusion....
In any case, I've got a whole bottle of the stuff, so if anyone out there is interested...you know where to find me.